What to say when someone is unhappy with your decision

When someone's upset with you, do you apologise, argue or go quiet?

It can be tempting either to avoid the conversation, defend yourself or take all the blame.

This week's Quick Tip explores what you can say to care for the relationship and for your integrity.

Watch the video or read the transcript below.

💭 Introduction: Do you ever feel like it’s your job to keep everyone happy—or to stop people from getting upset?

💭 Main Tip: It’s natural to care about how others feel. But taking full responsibility for someone else’s emotions can leave us overwhelmed and disconnected from our own needs. It can help to frame it like this: you’re not responsible for their feelings—but you are responsible for how you show up for the relationship as a whole. That means showing up with care, honesty and respect, and helping to shape a space where everyone’s needs matter.

💭 Example: Imagine a colleague is frustrated about a change you made. You could say, “I can see this change has had an impact, and I want to make space to talk about that.” You’re not taking the blame—but you’re also not shutting down the conversation. You’re shaping a space that values honesty and connection.

💭 Over to You: This week, notice if you’re carrying the weight of other people’s feelings. Can you shift from feeling responsible for them, to being responsible to the relationship as a whole?

💭 Closing: You don’t have to fix everything. But you can help create spaces where everyone—including you—can be real. Let me know how this feels to try out.